Question(s)

When Time pays a visit,
He must go to the Door.
Or else he'll be shocked
He don't live there no more.

But if he finds Reason
Out the Window he'll look.
On the Eve of decision,
He'll turn for a nook.

This thought could go onwards
Still Time marches on.
One Path or Another,
What could be the Harm?

To make a Decision
From Heart, Head to Hands:
Some Words that could change
The Shape of His Plans.

Who knows what he'll choose,
Can a blessing it be,
Whether Right, Left, or Straight,
Any of three?

Or does the Master choose Rightly
To tell him what's Right?
Only one Way to go
To know earthly Delight?

Whate'er he will do,
Closed lips he must seek,
For Wisdom can come
From Honeyed Hot Tea.

He Who Has Ears, Let Him Hear

I heard a few news stories on NPR today while driving in the car. Each grabbed my chest harder as they reached my mind. The first was about a mass killing in Mexico of a group of migrant workers journeying to the U.S. This group of people was allegedly gunned down by a drug cartel looking for ransom money that the migrants didn't have. So the cartel shot the migrants. Those people killed over 70 of those other people. The victims were from Central and South America. I mourn for each of those people. From both sides.

The second story came out of Afghanistan. A small group of political activists were killed by the Taliban. Reportedly, the victims were proponents of a female running for a political office. The Taliban don't want the election, but they especially don't want a female to gain an office. The terrorists burned the hands of their captives and shot them in the head. And this is only the latest in a rash of killings. A few weeks ago, a dozen or so aide workers (many if not all of them Christian) were murdered by the Taliban. And others have been dealt the same fate as well. Mortifying. And in the name of Allah, God. I mourn for these people. On both sides of the gun. Or machete. or hatchet. or torch. or whatever. Please Father, sow chords of peace in these places. Save these men and women from this fate.

Further on, another story from the Afghan Province. Reports of failed American attempts to quelch corruption in the new political arena that America helped to put in place. Another futile effort to save men by the efforts of other men. And coming from a nation that can't find its way through the corruption and bureaucracy in its own back, front and side yards.

To close, these stories were separately juxtaposed with other stories or programming that quickly jutted the listening audience back into the feel-good entertainment that allows a wide-mouthed and fat-bottomed public to move away from the hurt, the pain, and misery that oozes from a broken world. I mourn this fact just the same as the tragedies of humanity referred to above. If the Spirit hadn't gripped my heart, I surely would have gulped down this false logic and gained weight in the seat of my comfortable khaki pants and I grew closer to my self-interest and further from the heart of God.

Father God,
Please mend the broken. The migrant, the alien, the drug lord, the terrorist, the activist, the diplomat, the mediaman and the aid worker. Pour out your Spirit on our lands and heal us. Uplift your Church from our cushioned seats and send us into the harvest. Full of your Spirit. Full of love, joy and peace. Full of patience, kindness and goodness. Full of gentleness, faithfulness and self control. And send us out in care for one another. Brother to Brother. Sister to Sister. Brother to Sister. And Sister to Brother. Sow chords of peace and gladness, and break apart the roots of bitterness that ensnare us, divide us, and lead us into tempation. In the name and power of Christ Jesus. Amen.

Awaiting the Journey

My internship starts tomorrow at 5pm. I am excited about the opportunity. I really have no idea what it's going to be like. I mean, I kind of have an idea, but I really don't know what kind of effect it will have on me. I'm just awaiting the journey.

Ineptitude Of An Introspection

A hole in the soul
gives a lack of control
in the mind to take hold
of what's in the soul
that started the loss of control.

The Movement of Redemption

A joy in the brain
joins the refrain
that causes a pain
in a world that makes bane
any sign of breaking free
from the pain of being tied to a refrain
that drives the whole world insane.

Some Beach

Can't converse
his thoughts perverse.
Struggles to find meaning,
place just leaves him bleeding.
Wonders why he stands there lonely
on that beach he looks so homely.
In his mind vague thoughts turn onward
toward a time that's not so awkward
cuz he doesn't want to care
that no one wants him there.

Stranded

Stranded on an island
unwilling to share,
too shelfish to care.

Despondent to the right thing;
Look on it but it might sting.

Head turned to the fallen
Speed up cuz He's callin'
on a phone that ain't respondin'
to the voice that whispers softly,
"Call back, please, i'm not dyin'."

New Year's Resolution

I usually don't make a New Year's resolution, but considering how the last year went, I figured I needed one. Simply, I want to be a better person. And these attributes are ones that I need to be better in: dedication, passion, persistance, perseverance, consistency, humility, courage, strength, faith and love.

A Road Trip to Another World

I went on a road trip over the past few weeks. Just me and three friends. We went from Knoxville, TN to Denver, CO to Salt Lake City, UT to Boise, ID to Seattle, WA to Portland, OR to Eugene, OR to Santa Clara, CA to San Francisco, CA to Yosemite National Park to Las Vegas, NV to Grand Canyon National Park to Albuquerque, NM to Oklahoma City, OK to Memphis, TN to Nashville, TN back to Knoxville, TN. We covered over 6800 miles in thirteen days. Nearly one hundred hours of driving. The trip was one of the best things I've ever done. I saw some of the most beautiful landscapes in America, and probably the world. I walked through some of the most beautiful and eclectic cities in the country. I ran a mile on a track that has hosted some of the fastest runners, and best races, in the history of the world. I ate some great food, and walked in the Pacific Ocean.

The one place above all that I was most impressed with was the Pacific Northwest. Washington and Oregon are my two favorite states I've ever been to. The cities (Seattle and Portland in particular) were beautiful and fun and down to earth. I love them. I want to live there.

Another Land

The soul goes wandering
because it's fixed on some other land

The mind leaves the brain behind
because it's trying to find a better sky

And still he dreams, And still he dreams
Another place to run his race and leave his world behind.

The Responsibility of Enlightenment

Ok, so I've been enlightened recently in respect to environmental conservation. Since I was very small, I've loved animals and the nature they live in. Whether it be dinosaurs (obviously a little too late for conversationist efforts in respect to these fossilific monsters), big cats, whales, elephants, wolves or walruses, I've always been fascinated. My parents can attest to the fact that I watched the original shark week when I was like eight and walking with the dinosaurs a few years later. I remember getting shushed by an elementary school teacher in the hall because I was trying to tell her what I had learned about elephants the night before on the Discovery Channel. And I remember the day when I saw the first commercial for the launch of Animal Planet (pretty sure I got an odd look by my mom when I tried to tell her how excited I was).



All this to say that I'm a poser. I'm all talk. I'm all watch. I'm no do. I've never done anything to curb my environmental footprint. But as of late, I've been heavily convicted of the affliction that I and my peers protrude on the environment. We are especially guilty in America. Some estimates proclaim that if the rest of the world consumed as much as the United States, we'd need three planets to support us. Even if that estimate is off by half, then we would still run out of the planet that we have. The only planet that we have.

So, what to do? Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. It's somewhat of a cliche, but the three r's remain steadfast in their truth and usability. We must reduce the amount we consume; we must reuse as much as we can; we must recycle as much throw-away stuff as we can. Taking these three r's into serious consideration can curb much of the harm that we're doing to nature. I want to reemphasize that reducing is especially important at home in America where we consume mindboggling amounts. Something that we in the West have lost sight of is just what my title suggests, enlightenment incurs a hightened responsibility. I believe this to be especially true of Christians because we have the highest of all enlightenment-- God's revelation.

Much Grace, Peace, and Love.

Bigger Fish to Fry

I haven't blogged in over two months. Oddly enough, I didn't get any calls or mail demanding that I continue...

I'm running cross country again. I once vowed never to run (competitively) on a team again. I lost that mindset over the spring and desperately wanted to try my hand at it again. I now remember why I made that vow three years ago. I'm more prone to injury than a turkey on Thanksgiving. The ups and downs, mostly the downs, have rendered me frustrated and burnt out once again. In terms of running I was in the best shape, both mentally and physically, I've been in since Junior year of high school just a short month ago when I ran in our first meet. Currently, however, I'm in no better shape than I was in July when I started training for this season. I've lost most of my will and motivation, and there's still a month left in the season. Hopefully I can recover and salvage what is left. I can't help but recognize though that there is some, probably strong, correlation between my constantly getting hurt and the need for God to steer me in a direction other than competitive running. After all, it does bring an awful lot of pride into my life. And other sinful habits as well I'm sure.

On the bright side, I love my classes, my job, my friends and my God. So, while I do get upset about the running situation, it's only short-lived. I have much bigger fish to fry. Like the broken state of the environment. And the broken state of the Church. And the broken state of Humanity. And the calling I have to bring God's love to every situation. And through that love, grace and restoration and peace and joy.
So to you: much love, grace, restoration, peace and joy.

Two Month Anniversary

I was switching the layout of my blog around last night, and I accidentally hit the link to go back to the first blog I wrote. When I looked at the date of the post, I realized that today is exactly two months since my first post. As usual this summer has gone by fast. I move into the dorms this Sunday and classes start soon after that. I don't think it's time yet for a 'what did I do this summer' blog, but that will come soon enough. And hopefully it won't be as lame as I just made it sound.

Just as a side note, I got really inspired about running yesterday when I was looking at my friend Christian's facebook pictures. He just had a really successful cross country and track season, and he put different pictures on facebook of his meets and such. It made me really miss it. And really made me want to get back into the kind of shape I was in during high school. I want to run competitively so bad, and I'm getting excited just writing about it. I just thank God that I'm healthy right now, and I pray for that to continue throughout this season. I can't wait to go home the rest of this week and run. If you don't know geography very well, I'll explain something to you. Knoxville lies at the foot of the Smoky Mountains to the south and the Cumberland Mountains to the north. The city therefore is rather hilly. And being in the South, it's hot. Indianapolis lies in the foothills of corn fields and therefore is rather flat. And being rather north, it stays a little cooler than Knoxville. These two factors added together make me a very happy runner when I go home. I love you guys. Peace.

A Suffering Rest

Hard-pressed to find an answer we sit in the corner of our souls.
Not much for waiting, we sob like children caught in the cookies.
In our vex we sink further. Further into the black, into the bog.
A shelf sits close, full of space for what we want to hear.
But when we hear noise on the other side of the room, we curl-
Pressing against our wall so as not to hear.
But the wall is plastic and gives way to the weight of our pushing.
The more we fight, the more we suffocate.
The noise closes in so we ravage the wall with our madness.
Soon enough, the noise is gone;
We are dead to the noise but not to the suffering.
If but a moment we would have rested from our madness,
the noise would have turned to a whisper.
And in the whisper we could have found our answer.

Excited

This month brings lots of stuff that I'm excited about. First, I have only five more days until I go home. I'm excited for home for multiple reasons (one being a girl). Second, I have only nine days until I move back into the dorms which means that I get to see some really great friends that I haven't seen all summer. Third, cross country practice starts in thirteen days. Fourth, class starts in three weeks. Fifth, I actually get to develop a stable living situation and a reasonably steady routine in life.

Actually, while I'm writing this, I have that feeling in my chest you get when you're nervous/excited for something. It's kind of a tight, welled-up emotion feeling. Like I could pop if I took a really deep breath and someone poked me with a sharp object at the same time. I love this feeling. I used to get it when I raced in high school. The thing that gives me this feeling the most is the girl I mentioned earlier. I've wanted to take this girl on a date for a few years but the timing was never right. Well, now I'm pretty sure the timing is right, and I'm not about to miss this opportunity. That's all I have to say about that cuz I don't want to get myself too excited and then get let down again. I'm mostly nervous about it because I haven't been on a date with a girl other than my ex for three years. I don't know what to do. :) I really hope it works out. Thanks to the two of you that read this. Much love.

Evolution

I believe in evolution. I am a Christian.

Can these two statements occur hand in hand? If one set of lips utters these two declarations of faith in sequence, will those same lips burn with heresy? I don't believe so. Sure there are holes in the fossil record: but just because we haven't seen the missing link with our own eyes and felt it with our own Thomas-like fingers, doesn't mean it hasn't, or doesn't, exist. And in a not-so-different twist of logic, just because evolutionary-prone scientists can't touch, see and prove God and his son to be true in their labs, doesn't mean that Father, Son, and Holy Spirit didn't create the world that is so prone to the evolutionary process. My fellow brothers and sisters, please don't dismiss science for the sake of your religion; And my fellow science lovers, please don't dismiss God for the sake of your science. In the words of Yoda, Coincide they can. (Ok, I feel like a complete dork for that last one)

August?

Holy crap, I just realized today is August when I posted those blogs. Work comes quick, then home, then school. Another summer nearly gone. A really good one I might add. Not made worse by the call I received this morning. Always remember to greet others with shalom- wellness of life.

Random Lines on the Brain

The time is near; the time is now
when one bear sits and another growls.

As morning shade turns hot at noon,
evening comes and now it's June.

Failure loves to rot your brain,
but morning sun brings joy again.

When lies are truth and truth is false,
we shall be sad around the clock- tick tock... tick tock.

Seasons

Summer rain, wash me clean of this place.
Winter snow, cover my face with your gentle blanket of flakes.
Autumn leaves, lead me to a forest far from here.
Spring flowers, awaken me and make it clear.

The Tour

I've watched the Tour de France every July for the last ten years. This July has been no different. Two things I want to say right now about what I've witnessed over the last week of the Tour.

First, there's been a Subaru commercial that has aired nearly everyday since the start of this year's Tour. I don't know if you've seen it on too on Versus or any other channel, but it really convicts me. It's probably silly that it does, but nevertheless, convicted I stand. Here's the scene: A man walks down the sidewalk on the way to his car and the camera pans away from him and shows a new Subaru Impreza parallel parked on the street. The man sees that the parking meter has run out and places change into it just before the meter police lady can write the owner of the car a ticket. The man's voice is narrating, and he proclaims his love for his Subaru Impreza and says that he loves anybody else who also loves Subaru Imprezas. It just convicts me of the way Christians treat each other, and more specifically, the way I treat other Christians sometimes. Just like the Subaru guy loves other Subaru people, shouldn't we love anybody else who loves Jesus?

Second, I've pretty much lost all respect for Lance Armstrong. I know that he is a strong symbol of the victory a person can have over cancer, and I know that he is one of the greatest athletes in the world (and perhaps all time). But he is a very poor example of integrity, moral capacity, love and friendship. I won't even go into what he did to the mother of his children for an example; today however, he and his team backstabbed the man who helped him win all seven of his Tour de France championships. George Hincapie was Lance's right hand man for all of his victories in France. He tortured and sacrificed his own body in order to propel Lance up mountains on his way to seven years of glory. And how does Lance thank him? When George had the opportunity to wear the yellow jersey for just one day, Lance's team, Astana, headed up the peloton and chased back enough of the time gap to oust George from his shot at the podium. And in the post race interview, Lance had the gall to blame another American team for chasing down George, denied having anything to do with George's loss, and even said that he regrets what happened today and said it must have been something personal between the two American teams. A shameless, gutless, ruthless, cheap, and insolent injustice that was. I feel bad for George (who even though was obviously vexed in his post race interview didn't throw anyone under the bus and handled the situation with dignity and respect).

I'm sure none of you who actually read this even care about Lance or George or the Tour de France, but that wholeheartedly pissed me off, and I just needed to vent.

Peace and A Sword

She lives between peace and a sword.
Her aim is Love,
Division her casualty.

She rests on bare ground.
Her home is Love,
Despair her casualty.

She welcomes her enemy.
Her fate is Love,
Death her casualty.



This is a poem I wrote over the last couple days. Let me explain:

In Matthew 10: 34 Jesus says, "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." I've heard this verse before in my life, but when I heard it the other day, it struck a chord in me. Especially because in the last couple months I've come to realize just what love and peace and joy mean to mankind. And I've also developed the mindset that above all things, loving God and loving your neighbor are the most important tasks given to Christians. Yes, even above proclaiming the gospel. (If you disagree with me on this point, I would love to discuss the matter with you; just leave a comment.) Anyway, the fact that Jesus says blatantly that he didn't come to earth to bring peace, but a sword, well, that really just sent me for a loop. I've done a little research and a little thinking on what this verse means. First of all, let's quickly throw away the notion that this verse has anything to do with war or violence. It doesn't; it never has, and it never will. If we read it in its context we find that Jesus is saying that there will be conflict within families and groups of friends because of his name. If you love your dad, your mom, your brother or sister, or anyone else more than you love Jesus, then he doesn't want anything to do with you. This is why he brings a sword. Don't be afraid of division in the name of Love (Jesus). So I came up with this poem to represent my thoughts on the problem of having to juggle the task of loving your neighbor and harboring conflict because of that love.

So, now to decipher my poem. "She" is an ideal representation of the church in my mind. What the church should be and stand for. "Love" in the second line of each stanza represents Jesus and all that he and his kingdom represent. Each stanza reflects a different shade of that concept.

The whole idea of the first stanza is that the church's goal in the world is to spread Love (Jesus' Kingdom and love in general). But, like Jesus says, his name causes tension in relationships. i.e. She lives between peace and a sword. (That line has been swimming in my head since Wednesday.)

The second stanza represents the idea that Jesus and his church do not belong in this world. In other words, our home is not on earth, but wrapped up in this concept of the kingdom and the presence of the Triune God (Father, Son, and Spirit). He was a haggard and meandering soul, and so too is his body. Therefore, because of our out of place nature, despair can, and will, set in.

The third stanza represents the idea that loving God and loving your neighbor (a.k.a. following Jesus) is never to be taken lightly or given up- especially in the face of enemies and even unto death. The second line pretty much wraps up my view that above all, love is at the center of the Christian faith. If not for love, there is no creation. Without love, there is no forgiveness. If not for love, there is no redemption. There is no Christ separate from the divine Love that the Father has for mankind.

Love and Be Loved

There's just something about love. I don't know what it is. I can't define it; it's hard to write about it. But if there's anything you do in this world, please learn how to love yourself for who you are, then learn how to love God, then learn how to love other people with the same love that you love yourself. And if you want to go another step forward, let other people love you too.

The Hole of Latent Energy

Sometimes I get lonely.

Why is this? The question posed here is one that haunts me in my times of solitude. This loneliness doesn't just come when I'm physically alone. In fact, I like the time I have to myself. This feeling just hits me sometimes out of the blue. When I'm with my best friends, I get lonely. When I'm having a good time with my roommates, I get lonely. When I'm praying, I get lonely. When I'm with my family, I get lonely. This lonely, restlessness doesn't come everyday. Sometimes it waits a day or two to rear its head. But it comes; eventually, it comes. It comes when I listen to Taylor Swift songs. It comes when I watch Definitely, Maybe or Dan in Real Life or any other movie about a guy and a girl falling in love and living happily ever after. It comes when I'm around two people passionately and wholly devoted to one another. It comes because I want that.

Inside of my heart lies a latent energy. One that carries more power than I know what to do with. Sometimes this energy seeps out of me when I tell a close friend how much I want a wife and kids someday. Sometimes this energy oozes out of my aching heart when I prepare a meal for some of my good friends and then sit down to enjoy it across the table from a couple looking wistfully into each others' eyes. And I sit there alone in a room full of people... at least I'm eating something good I guess.

But ultimately, my heart turns to a question: why in the midst of so much happiness and contentment and love do I feel this burning desire for something more? Why if I have the greatest Love ever to grace the earth with His presence do I long for something other than Him? This I cannot answer. Do I even need to answer it?

For the sake of torture, I'll pose yet another riddle: Why now? Why can't this desire lie in some cave at the depth of my soul for five more years? Why does it show itself when I still have (at least) two more years of college (and there's no way I'm getting married in college)? Why does this desire appear when I'm still years away from even being ready to pursue it? How can this desire show up when I also have this deep yearning to go find something up in the Northwest somewhere? Something rugged, something fiercely simple? Love may be rugged, but it is by no means simple. Where do I go with that?

Insane.

For now, I shall live a joyous, tortuous, vague, and extraordinarily loving existence as I toss pennies into the hole of latent energy that dwells inside me.

...Peace be with you.

In Excess

I just watched a special on ESPN's Outside the Lines that highlighted the troubled times of professional sports in the United States. To put it lightly, I found this program troubling. The show talked about how layoffs are occurring at every level in every professional sport. The franchises just can't get enough people in the seats to pay the bills. The recession we've been dealt has sent thousands of families across the country scrambling to make ends meet due to the inevitable pink slip frenzy that follows the bear market. And the result for professional sports is bottom lines dragging the floors of their stadium palaces because these same families can no longer afford to drop between twenty five and a hundred dollars a ticket to watch Lebron, Arod, or Peyton light up their respective court, diamond or field with incredible athletic prowess.

The part of the show that frustrated me was when Bob Lee (the host) interviewed two people as to what could possibly be done by these franchises to fix this problem. And this is what gets me about our uber capitalistic mindset in America. Not one of them ever even hinted at the idea of reducing the players' salaries. Never once did the program hint at the idea of sports stars making a little less money (i.e. $1 million/year instead of 5, 10, or 20 million/year) in their contracts. Never did the idea come up that moms and dads working for professional sports organizations could keep their jobs if the spoiled, over payed, overvalued professionals would take a pay cut. In fact, they spent the whole of the interview dogging the owners and operators of the teams because they haven't been savvy enough to trick more people into spending more of their hard earned paychecks on watching the super brats expend blood, sweat and tears live and in person.

Perhaps one day, this recession will turn out to be a good thing for professional sports, and the rest of America for that matter. Maybe one day the extreme greed that has taken over our culture will one day subside. Perhaps, yes perhaps, one day professional athletes can find it in their consciences to sacrifice their exorbitant lifestyles so that one day when I have a family I can afford to take my kid to a game to see his "heroes" play.

Cookout

The events that transpired last night were some of the most fun I've had in quite a while. First of all, it was a cookout which automatically bumps any occasion up to a six. No matter how horrible the affair may be, add in a grill and some type of meat and I'm happy as a cow in California. But this was by no means one of those drab affairs where you just hunker down in a lawn chair in the corner and twiddle your grease-soaked fingers. Last night I was surrounded by good people, good food and good music. Not to mention fiery marshmallow fliers and fire breathing...

Show and Tell

Here are some things that I've learned in the past few weeks:

1. I like to write.
2. I like to blog.
3. I despise the word blog.
4. I don't really like the woods in the summer time. Too many spider webs.
5. Pandora is great.
6. Morning routines are great.
7. I love 70's rock.
8. I have really great friends.
9. I don't want to go to Grad school right after I graduate. I want to spend a few years on my own surrounded by good friends, a good church, and something else I haven't figured out yet.
10. I'm going to move back home someday. (By home I mean Indianapolis, not my mother's house. I love her more than most on this earth, and she loves me the same, but that would drive us both crazy.)
11. Dancing is fun, but only when in very small groups. (for both my and humanities sake)
12. I love having friends who are different than me.
13. Love is the most profound thing you can share with another person. And you can share it with anyone.
14. We don't need to fix society; we need to work on ourselves; only then can society go under construction.
15. God created each one of us different. We are all weird. We are all crazy. We all have the capacity and the freedom to be individuals in one Kingdom, and the funny thing is, the King wants it that way; he created it that way. I think I've found more peace in this idea than any other.

A Journey Worth Revisiting

Yesterday I went to take some breakfast to some terminally ill men with my good friend and pastor, Eddie Young. On the way there, we were just shootin the breeze and the topic of people watching came up. We both love to people watch (sometimes he goes to the mall with his wife and they'll sit there for a while and just watch the people going by). I told him that I love to make up stories for people. For example, I wonder where that dude's been today, or hmm, what has her life been like? People are so amazingly complex and life stories follow in that same line. So not only do I love to people watch, but I also love to hear people's life stories. The journey of a life is one that is always worth revisiting. I think one of the aspects that most intrigues me is the idea that two people can be presented with very similar routes but end up very different. Or conversely, two people who grew up in very different environments can end up very similar. I love finding out that I've grown up in a similar circumstance as one of my friends and come out with the same results. One of the best things about knowing a person's story is that I get to interact with that person according to what I know about him/her. It's a huge asset to a friendship. The feeling of knowing someone so well that I can almost predict what they're about to do or how they'll react to something is a feeling that I cherish in life.

The Simple Life

Henry David Thoreau came to my attention recently. Really the only clear views I had of him in my mind before I began reading about him was that he lived in the woods and he viewed nature (Nature) with a sense, and perhaps an unhealthy sense, of awe and magnificence. I have yet to begin reading his actual writings, but I have read about half of the introduction to the anthology of his works. In the first few pages of this introduction, the author highlights some of Thoreau's views on life, and I believe that at least a few of them have parallels into Christianity. As far as I know Thoreau had no ties to the Church in any respect, so I'm not saying that this man's life was by any means one that endeavored to follow Christ, but I do believe that Christians can learn a few things about how this man lived. As a side note: by all means, share with me any concerns, disagreements or quarrels you may have with what I have said and/or what I am about to say.

What I am concerned with in this entry is what the very title offers: the simple life. I have thought about this very topic since I read Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. That was almost three years ago, but since then I have read other authors and books (Thomas Merton and the Gospels being examples) and have made observations about the world around me that lead me to one very simple quotation from Mr. Thoreau: "Simplify." I am not saying that I have figured out the meaning of life, but I do say that simplification is necessary in a very complex world. I refer mostly to materialistic simplification when I speak of a simple life. (i.e. having only one or no TV in your house or perhaps having a two bedroom house for a family of three instead of a four or five bedroom house with a basement and a play room and a storage room and three bathrooms, etc, etc.) Jesus refers to material simplicity in several circumstances. First, when he sends out the twelve, he commands them to "acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics nor sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food" (Matthew 10: 9-10). There are also other instances when Jesus refers to a person gaining the whole world but losing his soul, or when Jesus tells a man to sell all he possesses and follows up that the wealthy would sooner watch a camel pass through the eye of a needle than enter the Kingdom of Heaven. All this to say that I don't believe that anyone who makes over fifty grand a year or any person with a three level house cannot be in the Kingdom. I am saying, and I believe Jesus gets at this too, that a materially simple existence is far wiser, far more pleasing, and far better for the Kingdom of God than one lived in astute opulence and comfort.

Thoreau poignantly states in one of his works that, "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Why is this? Thoreau is partially right in his response-- "Simplify." Man must simplify his life. However, the key to this equation has been overlooked by Mr. Thoreau. This key lies in the person of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Peace and love and joy like no other found on earth or above it are found in the life, the wounds, and the resurrection of this, our Savior.

On the flip side of Thoreau there are many who follow Christ in 21st century America who fall into this desperate mass of men. My message to them is this: Simplify.

Wake Up Call!

I was rudely awakened at three o'clock this morning by the lamp that is attached to the side of my bed. After I woke up and steadied myself from the pain, I realized that I had been sleeping on the edge of my bed and whacked my nose against the corner of this lamp. Was it a dream? Not according to the bruise that is now supplanted on the bridge of my nose.

A Brother's Love

The following poem is an excerpt from the last page of the book I just finished. The book is Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain (I highly recommend it). The poem is written by him and is directed toward his brother who lost his life in WWII. The love conveyed in this poem is one that I have not found with either of my two brothers, but one that I would cherish. Especially in light of the fact that Merton helped lead his brother into the waters of baptism shortly before his departure to Europe, and ultimately his death.

"Sweet brother, if I do not sleep
My eyes are flowers for your tomb;
And if I cannot eat my bread,
My fasts shall live like willows where you died.
If in the heat I find no water for my thirst,
My thirst shall turn to springs for you, poor traveller

Where, in what desolate and smokey country,
Lies your poor body, lost and dead?
And in what landscape of disaster
Has your unhappy spirit lost its road?

Come, in my labor find a resting place
And in my sorrows lay your head,
Or rather take my life and blood
And buy yourself a better bed--
Or take my breath and take my death
And buy yourself a better rest.

When all the men of war are shot
And flags have fallen into dust,
Your cross and mine shall tell men still
Christ died on each, for both of us.

For in the wreckage of your April Christ lies slain,
And Christ weeps in the ruins of my spring:
The money of Whose tears shall fall
Into your weak and friendless hand,
And buy you back to your own land:
The silence of Whose tears shall fall
Like bells upon your alien tomb.
Hear them and come: they call you home."

Father, may you open the hearts of my brothers, and may they find our Christ and through Him grace and peace. And when this happens may you lend me grace to welcome them home.

What about the woods?

My facebook status a few days ago was "kyle needs to find the woods." Reading my last post compared to this facebook status could seem a bit confusing. To make it easy separate the two ideas. It's not the same metaphor. I've changed my blog title which also may add to the confusion. I probably should have spent my first post explaining the idea of the blog and the woods metaphor. So, let me now explain...
I love the woods. I love being in the woods; I love looking at pictures of the woods; I love to think in the woods and let the natural sounds and silence envelop me in its soft overcoat. Furthermore, many other people in history have felt the same way. Specifically, Thoreau and the transcendentalists, but there are others as well. This being said, the woods are my temporal and symbolic place I like to use to refer to my introspection and the journey of finding myself. I'm by no means a pantheist, but I do believe that God is in the woods. I haven't thought about it enough to have a definite idea, but I know that God is there, and the silence and peacefulness that the forest pervades brings one closer to the Creator than anything created by the creation.

The post I wrote the other day used the woods in a general sense to explain the state I was in at the time. I felt lost. I felt stranded. I haven't been motivated for life in a while. I had gotten bogged down in junk, in trash, in the world. I am not one to say that a person should forget all of society and retreat into obscurity in order to purify his soul of the world, but there is a certain gunky residue that one must deal with when he loses himself in the desires of the flesh. I do this too often, and the result is this feeling of profound gunkiness. The muck that clings to me leaves me with a confused and cloudy feeling. And consequently it leaves me with a hunk of apathy. Apathy towards myself, toward others, toward God. Above most things that I can't stand is apathy. I hate when others are apathetic, especially Christians, and I hate when I become this way as well. I can't stand being unmotivated and stuck in the mud. This blog is a way for me to loose some of those chains, clean off some of that muck and get my head a little clearer. In the coming days and months, I will share my life, my mind and my soul. I hope that you find this journey pleasant.

Motivation

Motivation is a prime antecedent in life. It comes before just about everything. Why did you get out of bed? You were motivated to start your day. Why did you tie your shoes? You were motivated to prevent your shoes from falling off. Why did you cover yourself when someone walked in on you in the bathroom of Pilot when you were changing? You were motivated to prevent him/her from seeing your hidden treasures. And the examples could go on and on.

This could turn into a deep philosophical/ metaphysical discussion of motivation and its causes and whether or not it really exists at all. I will, however, leave those meanderings of the mind to such people as Rene Descartes and John Locke for my mind is far too inferior to deal with such things. What I am concerned with is the practical nature of what I understand to be motivation. What is it? Where does it come from? How do I get some? Why is it that I'm motivated to do this much in life, and Benjamin Franklin was motivated to do that much in life? Why is it that at different points in life motivation is strong and vibrant, but in other points of life motivation wanes and dries up?

My main concerns with motivation at this point are where did it go and how can I get it back? Whatever it is, from whereever it comes, I've lost it. I'm lost in the woods, and I don't have the will to search for an exit.